Assumptions...

The very best advice I can give about assuming is "don't".  No matter what you assume, you will surely be wrong far too often.  So what does this have to do with the dogs?

Recently someone I know well suggested I do something with Gimme that I didn't think my puppy was ready for and I said as much.  Later she asked if she could hold Gimme and I handed over my precious baby.  I had no more than turned away to answer questions about liver spotted Dalmatians than she proceeded to do what I had already said no to.  I assumed she meant "hold" as in "I wanna cuddle the cute puppy."  I assumed she understood and would honor my objection.  I was wrong on both assumptions.  Perhaps she assumed that I would be pleasantly surprised to see that Gimme handled the situation better than she assumed I expected -- if that was the case, she was wrong.   I had a number of reasons for not wanting to do what she suggested; she didn't have the full story.  I've written to her about my objections and her response indicates that she had a number of assumptions about what I wanted from the meet and greet experience. 

The point is much larger than this one experience AND its not the only experience.  I described in another blog entry a person who asked if her dogs could meet my puppy.  First she said one of her dogs was "great" with puppies, but would have to get in the puppy's face first.  Obviously I can't assume that people understand dog behavior or that we have the same standard; her dog was not "great" by my way of thinking.  Then she went on to say that she wanted to try out her other unknown dog on my puppy, because she was getting a puppy.  I'm thinking that assuming someone has common sense may not bode well either.

I've had other experiences that made me question assumptions.  You can't assume that people will be careful about their dogs and yours.  We've all had the experience of someone letting their dog get in our dog's face or crowding, or staring down.  Often just running over you and yours in their haste.

Also having played pass the puppy, I was surprised (to say the least) about how rough some are when handling a baby puppy.  Fortunately Gimme has a real strong sense of self and made it clear what she didn't like.  My own father is one of those people who handles puppies roughly, with a little country ear-pulling thrown in.  He flat out adores Gimme - having completely fallen for her spottie dottie charm.  I was able to intervene in these cases, but with a more sensitive puppy, it could have caused lasting distrust.  Gimme adores my father in return and has become accustomed to his ways, but still doesn't accept it from anyone else. 

Lest it appear that I'm completely inept when I comes to sizing people up -- in correspondence with another person (not a novice either) who has a puppy from this same litter, she is experiencing the same thing.    She described people who seemed to have what she called "their own agenda", who ignored her instructions and wishes regarding her puppy.  Similar stories have turned up in conversations with friends .

While attending an Ian Dunbar seminar, my friend played pass the puppy.  This is an environment filled with experienced dog people who presumably are interested in reward based methods.  One of those experienced people allowed this young puppy to eat an earring right off her ear.  C'mon, do we need to do a TSA screening and pat down to make sure people aren't harboring harmful objects?  Again with my earlier comment about assuming people have common sense.  Another person, who presented herself as a reward based trainer, when she got puppy-nibbled, grabbed the puppy by the jaw and shook her.  How nice to have planted in this show puppy's baby brain the idea that some people aren't nice to your mouth.  If that's her idea of reward-based, let's all thank God that she doesn't do what she thinks is punishment, eh. 

It sure doesn't help that one service dog at the same seminar snarled every time the tiny baby Dal got within ten feet of her.  Fortunately there were other people who were appropriate and took exquisite care of this baby and another service dog had a sweet and gentle play session with her.

This time around I haven't experienced (or lately even heard of) these issues with the general public.  I believe it may be that we are much more careful with people that aren't dog people because we assume (correctly) that they probably don't know how to interact with puppies.  Unfortunately we tend to assume (wrongly) things about people in the dog community, and its those assumptions that get us in trouble.  Remember, in the dog community, people have varied backgrounds, experiences, knowledge and training styles.  As such they approach everything from their own perspective, viewing everything through the prism of their own assumptions about right, wrong and appropriate.  When we assume that we're all on the same page - we stand a good chance of being wrong.

I don't want to leave this sounding like I've had one horrid experience after another - most people and most interactions have been delightful and have added positively to my baby's learning base.  The point is all about assumptions - that every experience I preferred to avoid could have been prevented had I (or the other person [or both of us]) not made assumptions. 

Also, not all assumptions led to negative experiences.  I practice with someone who is a steadfast traditional trainer (jerk and pull).  I assumed that he might not be the best choice for Gimme to meet and thus it was not my intention to let them interact.  She had other ideas and took matters into her own paws.  Their meeting was wonderful, she likes him very well and thinks he has a stunning expertise at treat delivery.  So you see how it is about assumptions - nowadays you can't even safely assume that traditional jerk and pull trainers are awful evil spawn who will do dastardly things to your puppy.  What is the world coming to???  <e.g.>

All foolishness aside -- we each need to remember that our puppies are our responsibility, so decisions about them are also ours to make.  No matter how much you think you know someone, your future with your baby is resting in their hands every time you give up control, even for a moment.  Small actions can have big consequences.  Vigilance and being ever ready to step in is essential.  We cannot worry about hurting someone else's feelings or about how we might seem when we intervene or just say no. 

Put succinctly:  My Puppy, My Rules -- and Never Ever Assume Anything...