Its All About the Attitude

I teach agility on Saturdays and this weekend after class I placed six jumps (uprights only) in a simple circle and brought Gimme in to play.  Initially I turned her loose to investigate the arena, since she hasn't been there in many months.  She ran around excited and wild and when she buzzed by me, I clicked her.  I only did that once or twice, because she didn't stop for the treat, so the clicking was pretty meaningless.  I figured she was too far out of her thinking brain to respond, so I just let her go and get it out of her system. 

What I did do was to walk around and back and forth in the arena.  Whenever she buzzed by, I'd change direction and walk in a direction more or less opposite to where she was headed then.  I didn't say anything or in any way try to curtail or change what she was doing.  I simply walked and changed directions as her movements called for it.  Before long I noticed, while she was still buzzing by, she was almost immediately curving back to pick up my new direction. 

When I saw that she was actually giving me some brief eye contact as she went by, I tried clicking again and sure enough, she was ready to respond.  She got her treats and then was free to go.  I repeated this until she indicated she wanted more from me and was ready to work.  After that we had a nice training session where she was totally focused and giving me all she had. 

At one point the barn dogs came out and were looking in the gate.  She was distracted then and left briefly to go check them out.  I was happy to see that she didn't show any posturing and soon came back to work.  So we are already making progress on that front.  Woohoo...

I was very happy that she gave me such complete focus in what is essentially a new place for her and worked hard for ten minutes.  I was even happier that despite distracting to the dogs, she came back to work with the same great level of focus she had before.  What did she learn in this session?  Not much agility, just going through uprights which she has done before.  But more importantly:

• Mom respects my needs
• I can play agility in a strange place
• Mom is fun
• Agility is fun
• Dogs watching are okay

Contrast that with a recent semi-private agility lesson.  It had already been a pretty full day and in retrospect wasn't the best time to have a lesson, especially a semi-private (not my choice -- it was sprung on me when I arrived).  Gimme did well for most of the lesson and was trying hard to give me what I wanted. 

While things started out well enough, after awhile Gimme started sniffing. The instructor told me that I was certainly more interesting than the ground and Gimme had to return to work.  I worked her through it as best I could and was getting some success.  Even if she wasn't learning anything, she was, at that point, still having a positive experience.

However as things continued, Gimme became more and more distracted and was clearly starting to stress. She started running out to the wading pool after the second jump in the sequence. The instructor would go and herd her back by pestering her.  As this pattern was repeated the pestering became harassing.  Gimme's brain was basically fried (my thoughts and later the instructor's exact words) and she was trying to avoid what she couldn't concentrate well enough to do.  The pool was then turned over and the next time she went that way, the instructor went after her, got in her face and yelled "get back to work." Gimme then came right to me, but she still couldn't do the exercise.

The instructor insisted that Gimme had to learn to work through her "fried brain" and that she could only quit on "my terms".  She said it wasn't up to Gimme to say when she was too tired and couldn't work anymore.  She would not accept that Gimme had enough, too much, in fact, or that it was sufficient reason to give her a break. I let it go on a few more minutes, broke down the exercise and basically the last time Gimme walked through it getting treats every two feet.

While the instructor insisted that was so much better, she couldn't see that Gimme was very stressed and behaviorally suppressed, only seeming her usual lively self for the last obstacle, a straight tunnel. Then after having said before that when Gimme did what I asked, we would quit on "my terms", she told me to do the sequence again. I said "no, that's enough" – which ended the lesson. I should have quit much sooner.

What Gimme learned from that awful lesson is that:

• Sometimes agility isn't fun
• Sometimes Mom isn't fun
• Sometimes Mom doesn't listen to Gimme
• Sometimes people aren't nice to Gimme

Obviously that's not where I want our training to "go".  Gimme is too great of a dog and has such a wonderful attitude.  Fortunately she has enough confidence and plenty of attitude to bounce back, even from that crappy lesson.  So what did Carla learn from that dismal experience:

• Don't let someone surprise me into doing something that isn't right for my girl (the unplanned semi-private).  I should have said "no" when I realized we weren't going to get what I had scheduled.
• Don't listen to someone who tries to push me into training in ways that my girl isn't ready for.  Such as exercises that are too difficult for her level of experience or discouraging me from luring Gimme to help her deal with the difficulty and/or distraction.
• Don't listen to someone who criticizes the advice I was given my another instructor who has worked much more with Gimme and who's method is showing results.
• Don't listen to someone who shows a lack of understanding about canine calming signals and who shows no evidence of having even read some of the latest works on helping dogs deal with distraction/stress, such as Control Unleashed.
• Don't listen to someone who is starting to channel Cesar Milan.
• Do tailor the training method to where Gimme is at in that moment.
• Do remember that while she is full size, Gimme is after all still a puppy.  She doesn't need to experience stress while learning (no dog does).
• Do pay attention to what the whole Gimme is telling me.  Its okay for her to tell me when she is done working; its not important for me to be in charge.  
• Do respect Gimme and her needs. 
• Do defend Gimme's needs at all times.

To clarify the title, "Its All About the Attitude"...  I'd rather have a dog who chooses to work with me, than one who is compelled to work with me.

I have to admit its embarrassing to share with the "whole world" how poorly I stood up for my darling girl in this instance.  I could hide it and keep my reputation intact.  I could explain in nauseating detail how and why I think it happened this way.  I could try to defend or justify my errors in judgment.  I have already analyzed it to death for my own benefit.  However, I think the important thing is to share it with you so you can benefit from what I learned. 

Please learn from my mistakes...  Do not try this at home.

Assumptions...

The very best advice I can give about assuming is "don't".  No matter what you assume, you will surely be wrong far too often.  So what does this have to do with the dogs?

Recently someone I know well suggested I do something with Gimme that I didn't think my puppy was ready for and I said as much.  Later she asked if she could hold Gimme and I handed over my precious baby.  I had no more than turned away to answer questions about liver spotted Dalmatians than she proceeded to do what I had already said no to.  I assumed she meant "hold" as in "I wanna cuddle the cute puppy."  I assumed she understood and would honor my objection.  I was wrong on both assumptions.  Perhaps she assumed that I would be pleasantly surprised to see that Gimme handled the situation better than she assumed I expected -- if that was the case, she was wrong.   I had a number of reasons for not wanting to do what she suggested; she didn't have the full story.  I've written to her about my objections and her response indicates that she had a number of assumptions about what I wanted from the meet and greet experience. 

The point is much larger than this one experience AND its not the only experience.  I described in another blog entry a person who asked if her dogs could meet my puppy.  First she said one of her dogs was "great" with puppies, but would have to get in the puppy's face first.  Obviously I can't assume that people understand dog behavior or that we have the same standard; her dog was not "great" by my way of thinking.  Then she went on to say that she wanted to try out her other unknown dog on my puppy, because she was getting a puppy.  I'm thinking that assuming someone has common sense may not bode well either.

I've had other experiences that made me question assumptions.  You can't assume that people will be careful about their dogs and yours.  We've all had the experience of someone letting their dog get in our dog's face or crowding, or staring down.  Often just running over you and yours in their haste.

Also having played pass the puppy, I was surprised (to say the least) about how rough some are when handling a baby puppy.  Fortunately Gimme has a real strong sense of self and made it clear what she didn't like.  My own father is one of those people who handles puppies roughly, with a little country ear-pulling thrown in.  He flat out adores Gimme - having completely fallen for her spottie dottie charm.  I was able to intervene in these cases, but with a more sensitive puppy, it could have caused lasting distrust.  Gimme adores my father in return and has become accustomed to his ways, but still doesn't accept it from anyone else. 

Lest it appear that I'm completely inept when I comes to sizing people up -- in correspondence with another person (not a novice either) who has a puppy from this same litter, she is experiencing the same thing.    She described people who seemed to have what she called "their own agenda", who ignored her instructions and wishes regarding her puppy.  Similar stories have turned up in conversations with friends .

While attending an Ian Dunbar seminar, my friend played pass the puppy.  This is an environment filled with experienced dog people who presumably are interested in reward based methods.  One of those experienced people allowed this young puppy to eat an earring right off her ear.  C'mon, do we need to do a TSA screening and pat down to make sure people aren't harboring harmful objects?  Again with my earlier comment about assuming people have common sense.  Another person, who presented herself as a reward based trainer, when she got puppy-nibbled, grabbed the puppy by the jaw and shook her.  How nice to have planted in this show puppy's baby brain the idea that some people aren't nice to your mouth.  If that's her idea of reward-based, let's all thank God that she doesn't do what she thinks is punishment, eh. 

It sure doesn't help that one service dog at the same seminar snarled every time the tiny baby Dal got within ten feet of her.  Fortunately there were other people who were appropriate and took exquisite care of this baby and another service dog had a sweet and gentle play session with her.

This time around I haven't experienced (or lately even heard of) these issues with the general public.  I believe it may be that we are much more careful with people that aren't dog people because we assume (correctly) that they probably don't know how to interact with puppies.  Unfortunately we tend to assume (wrongly) things about people in the dog community, and its those assumptions that get us in trouble.  Remember, in the dog community, people have varied backgrounds, experiences, knowledge and training styles.  As such they approach everything from their own perspective, viewing everything through the prism of their own assumptions about right, wrong and appropriate.  When we assume that we're all on the same page - we stand a good chance of being wrong.

I don't want to leave this sounding like I've had one horrid experience after another - most people and most interactions have been delightful and have added positively to my baby's learning base.  The point is all about assumptions - that every experience I preferred to avoid could have been prevented had I (or the other person [or both of us]) not made assumptions. 

Also, not all assumptions led to negative experiences.  I practice with someone who is a steadfast traditional trainer (jerk and pull).  I assumed that he might not be the best choice for Gimme to meet and thus it was not my intention to let them interact.  She had other ideas and took matters into her own paws.  Their meeting was wonderful, she likes him very well and thinks he has a stunning expertise at treat delivery.  So you see how it is about assumptions - nowadays you can't even safely assume that traditional jerk and pull trainers are awful evil spawn who will do dastardly things to your puppy.  What is the world coming to???  <e.g.>

All foolishness aside -- we each need to remember that our puppies are our responsibility, so decisions about them are also ours to make.  No matter how much you think you know someone, your future with your baby is resting in their hands every time you give up control, even for a moment.  Small actions can have big consequences.  Vigilance and being ever ready to step in is essential.  We cannot worry about hurting someone else's feelings or about how we might seem when we intervene or just say no. 

Put succinctly:  My Puppy, My Rules -- and Never Ever Assume Anything...