Meaggi-Angel

A to Z Mad About You

Titles: NAJ, NJP, OJP

March 8, 1998 – Sept. 24, 2012

It never gets any easier.  We love them so much and we feel so responsible.  When the time comes that our feelings of responsibility come into conflict with reality, we are faced with a decision that robs peace of mind.  Meaggi has been healthy most of her life, a blessing we both enjoyed.   My sweet girl was gracious enough to have two problems go critical at once, so I won't second guess my decision.  Either one alone would have taken her from me in just a few weeks.  Together she was in discomfort that could not be relieved and would soon escalate.  The only thing I could do for her was release her from this old failing body, the last kindness.

Meaggi was weak and didn't want to eat.  Clearly a last walk was out of the question.  On Saturday when she had a better day and was still interested in food, we spent a bit of time sitting in the grass - me tossing treats for her to find.  After awhile, even that was too much.  Today she didn't really want to eat, but would take special goodies if I hand fed them.  So McDonald's for breakfast was a natural place to start.

We arrived early at the vet's office and sat waiting in the car.  I fed her M&Ms... the first of her life.  She seemed to enjoy them and sucked the sugar coating off before biting down.  Still after half a package, she'd had enough.  All their lives together I referred to Meaggi and Michael as "M&M".  So it wasn't lost on me that when the last of M&M was leaving me, she spent time during her last day eating M&Ms.  

We spent the rest of the time waiting with me petting her while she fell asleep, for the first time today losing that shivering that dogs do when they are hurting.  When the time came to go in, it seemed so wrong to wake her up, but had to be done.  It can't be coincidence that this grand old spottie-dottie lady, at fourteen and a half years, according to the 7 year dog-to-human conversion, leaves me at the age of 101. 

Doc had the room ready for her.  It was a very peaceful passing... He gave her a sedative with a lot of narcotic in it, to ease her pain as she went to sleep.  Within a minute the shivering passed again and soon she drifted into a relaxed sleep.  When he gave her the final shot, my hand was resting on her heart and I swear it stopped beating before he'd even pushed the plunger all the way.  She was ready to go.  All good things come to an end.

Meaggi was always both a happy girl and a good girl.  She was clearly her mother's daughter.  Her biggest job in life was to be my couch buddy.  This is Meaggi on her fourteenth birthday, doing couch duty.  Do note, she was still wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

When she was young we did a lot of walks in the woods.  There was never a puddle that couldn't be mucked around in.  Sometimes she would roll and come up covered in mud.  She was happy to walk, no matter what the weather - even when the mud was frozen.

Early last year, at age 13, Meaggi was still getting around well enough to enjoy showing Gimme how to explore during walks.  I loved watching them, because everything Meaggi did, Gimme copied a few feet away, her little shadow.

We dabbled at agility and Meaggi earned three titles, despite all odds.  Although she was focused and responsive in training - at trials all that went out the window.  Somewhere she got the idea that speed was the most important thing at trials.  She would throw on the afterburners and warp through courses leaving me in her dust.  Although we weren't often successful, it was always a fast, fun and wild ride.  Clearly she had the same intense and serious look as Michael.  Unfortunately the pictures don't capture how fast her tail wagged.  It always seemed about to fling off into the farthest corner of the ring. 

Meaggi always had very involved false pregnancies.  When the time came she would find a toy and mother it for several weeks.  She'd carry the baby everywhere, even bringing it to bed.  Once while she was sleeping, I snuck in six more and she was very big eyed when she awoke to see how her brood had grown.  Within minutes, about half of them had been rolled off the couch.  Certain toys were not acceptable as substitute babies no matter how many times I tried to sneak them in.  I finally offered her a whole basket of toys to choose from - you'll see here that she has a certain theme about what was appropriate.

Meaggi was also known as the "Supreme Queen Duchess of the Universe".  So of course, it was only appropriate that her babies be celestial bodies - suns, moons and stars.  She was completely consistent about this throughout her several false pregnancies.

Even when she had a large brood of six to ten babies, Meaggi carried them everywhere.  She'd make many trips to move them from one couch to the other, or to my bed.  In the morning she'd carry one outside with her to pee and then drop it on the couch on the way back in - resuming her job, moving them one by one until they were all in one place again.

Michael used to drive her crazy during these times.  He would watch her and wait for her to fall asleep.  Then very stealthily, he would kidnap a "baby", laying in front of her, waiting for her to awaken and notice.  As soon as she did, he'd begin tossing the baby in the air to either catch it or pounce on it, while emitting his high pitched goofy-boy bark.  I always pictured him saying, "I'm socializing, I'm socializing..."  There was no mistaking the meaning of the wail that came from mother Meaggi, "Mommmmmmmmmm!"  That wail wouldn't stop until I took the baby away from Michael and returned it to her.  Some things are universal, no matter what the species -- brothers tormenting sisters seems to be one of those.

Following her last season, I wasn't expecting a false pregnancy, since the season only lasted a few days.  Thus the celestial bodies weren't available when Meaggi was ready to mother a baby.  Then what should happen, but that she brings an apple in the house.  She carried it around for days, everywhere she went.  She slept with it, always being sure that it was tucked up safely next to her.  I got the basket of toys out, but she was not interested in them.

On the tenth day of motherhood, Meaggi woke from a nap and must have been a bit hungry.  Finding an apple close by, she started munching away.  Suddenly she realized, in horror, what she had done!  She was distraught, spitting out the piece in her mouth and pushing the pieces all together in a pile.  She was so upset and really didn't know what to do and wouldn't settle down.  I had no choice but to find another apple of the same size, and distract her with one hand, while using the other hand to sweep the baby-remnants into the trash and replace them with a new apple baby.  She still seemed upset and uncertain.  However, after another nap, she woke and was apparently happy and content again; obviously having concluded that the cannibalism episode was all just a very bad dream. 



I miss you already Meaggi girl.  For all the joy you brought me, I thank you.  Until we meet again, run free and be happy.  Wait for me.   Love, Mom

Arf-Angel Michael

A to Z Who's The Boss

Titles: MX, MXJ, AXF, AXP, AXJP, NAC, NJC, TN-N

Mar. 8, 1998 – Dec. 12, 2011

The rub with loving these wonderful dogs is: they leave us too soon. Old age sneaks in to rob them of vitality, taking away their quality of life and dignity. We who love them are faced with the most painful decision. Then we are left behind to deal with the guilt and grief, trying desperately to find our way back to all the wonderful memories.

Michael’s last day was filled with the favorites he still enjoyed. After his usual breakfast, breakfast #2 was at McDonalds - 2 sausage biscuits and hash browns. Then on to the woods for our last walk together. His nose still worked as well as ever and he had a blast sniffing and snooping. On the walk out I dropped chunks of cheese behind me, which he thoroughly enjoyed finding on the way back – so excited to discover they were growing cheese out there. After agility, McDonald’s was his favorite thing, so we stopped there again for lunch - McChicken, McDouble, fries and holiday pie.

At the clinic we sat and hugged until doc was ready. They had placed a big thick blanket on the table so he'd be comfortable and the lights were turned down low. Doc doesn’t want dogs to experience any stress when the time comes. He gave Michael a sedative and yet, thirty minutes later Michael still hadn't fallen asleep. Doc suggested it might have been the holiday pie, but I think he was just enjoying the non-stop petting, hugs and kisses too much to drift off. Doc gave him another sedative and he did finally go to sleep. When the lights came up, with all the tension and cares of the world gone, Michael looked so much younger. I know he is in heaven, young again and eagerly waiting on the start line for me to come play with him.

I’ve been looking at old pictures and remembering. Michael was such a scaredy cat when he was a pup, so afraid of other people. Agility was a grand discovery and a big part of helping him get past his fears. We dabbled in other dog sports, but it was agility he loved.  He had so much fun playing the agility game that it was always a surprise to see his oh-so-serious game face in pictures. We never set the agility world on fire, but we always had fun. I learned too late how to be the handler Michael needed. No matter how clumsy I was, he always ran his best and we enjoyed the game together. We made it half way to a MACH before having to accept the inevitable retirement. His heart was still young and so willing, but his body just couldn’t cooperate.

Throughout his life, Michael was devoted to me and wanted only to please me. He was always watching me, looking for a clue to making me happy. He never stopped trying because he loved his Mom most of all.  Michael was sent to be my teacher. I learned so much from him; he made me a better trainer and a better person. Like ripples in a pond, his life touched, and still touches, so many others.

Michael in Pictures

Though he loved agility, he was also very serious about it.

 Our first and second Double Q's.

Michael loved riding in the car.

He loved it best when he didn't have to ride in a crate.

Walks in the woods were a lifelong fave.

Even the last walk still contained discoveries since

they'd started growing cheese out there.



I miss you Boy-san. I miss your Noodle-Doodle moments. No one else can be my Noodge. Wait for me and when we meet again you will be my Adja-Litty-Man. Rest well my beloved.   Love, Mom